Jan 17, 2015

Being a Single Widow or Widower

The period immediately following bereavement is inevitably taken up with getting the business end of our lives in good order. I was fortunate enough to have plenty of help with this and I had good support from friends and family to help me come to terms with my new life. During this period I had little time to think too much about what it really meant to be single again.

However, life gradually takes on a different perspective and I found myself spending longer periods of time on my own than I had previously been used to. It is not unusual to experience feelings of awkwardness at this time; I found dinner parties were no longer the convivial occasions they once were and weddings and other major events became something I dreaded rather than looked forward to. So what to do?

No one has ever said that taking the initial steps to meet other singles following the death of a partner is easy, and understandably, should be taken with forethought and caution.

The prospect of dating again may bring with it feelings of guilt and uncertainty and this is understandable. However, once you have decided that this is really something you want to do, you will soon find the confidence to take the appropriate steps.

Connecting with those that have also been bereaved could be a good way to go.

The links you will be making will have a first-hand understanding of how you are feeling and are more likely to be empathetic to the inevitable emotional struggle that may occur in the early stages of friendship. It certainly helped me to connect with other widows and widowers following the passing of my husband.

When you’re ready to take this first step, having the courage to join a dating website could be the best way to open your life up to new possibilities. Or it could be reaching out to someone you already know who is also single. Either way, acknowledging that you are looking to change your status and be part of a couple again is a healthy sign that you are moving on.

In time, hopefully, you will find the relationship you are looking for and rediscover what it’s like to be part of a couple again. Only you will know when the time is right.

If you’re happy being single, then there is no reason to ever feel that you should be otherwise. The most important thing is to know that you are growing in confidence and living a life that you enjoy and feel comfortable with.

@mrsanimo


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