Mar 4, 2015

Am I Ready to Date Again?

Immediately following bereavement, there will be a period of time when you and your family have to make adjustments. This is a challenging time for all of you and coming to terms with this new life state can be hard.

However, it is hoped that eventually you will come to terms with your situation and having evaluated where your future lies, you might consider online dating. Joining a dating website can open up your life considerably. It is worth noting that whilst forming lasting relationships is the ideal resolution for some, making platonic friends with those who are empathetic can also be rewarding.

It’s understandable to have reservations about online dating, especially for widows or widowers, who will very likely have shared a safe and secure relationship for many years. However, looking for someone to fill the void is nothing to feel embarrassed or awkward about. For some, wanting to be part of a couple again is perfectly natural and dating websites exist to fulfil a need and that is to bring people together, not only for romance, but for friendship, too.

Everyone’s experience is different and there are no hard and fast criteria to make things happen quickly or more effectively. Sometimes it takes a while for the right person to come along. However, taking your time and building a relationship gradually can be a blessing and offers the opportunity to get to know someone through exchanging private messages before you commit to meeting up.

Because you are taking this step ‘remotely’, you have no reason to feel under pressure about who to talk to and who to connect with. You make these decisions in your own time. You will know when you feel comfortable about meeting up with someone and if you follow the recommended guidelines* about meeting up for the first time, you should be fine. Also, bear in mind that the person you are meeting is likely to be feeling as apprehensive as you, especially if this is early days for them, too.

If you have a friend who is also widowed, you may want to encourage them to join with you. Sharing experiences is a good way of testing the water and at the very least you can compare notes.

Today, it is statistically proven that one in four relationships begin online and this is second only to meeting a partner through friends. Joining an online dating community is accepting that you are ready to move on.

Some people who have used a dating website will tell you that to begin with they were unsure about the process, but most will tell you that once you have dipped your toe in the water you will wonder why you left it for so long.

*Initially, we always recommend that you make arrangements to meet up with someone during day time: for coffee, perhaps, and it goes without saying, always tell a friend or family member where you are and what you are doing. Never disclose your address or any other personal information until you are really sure of who you are talking to.



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