Dating Again – Taking That All Important First Step
You may be having second thoughts about widower dating and wondering whether or not it is the right move for you at this moment or, indeed, ever!
Deciding you want to start dating again following bereavement is probably going to be a decision you haven’t taken lightly. Inevitably, you could be having second thoughts and feeling an element of guilt in the eyes of your late wife’s family or your children. However, these thoughts are perfectly normal and should not stop you from moving forward with your life.
You Will Know When The Time Is Right
The space between losing your life partner and your decision to date again will vary from person to person. For some widowers it will be months, but for others, a period measured in years. There are no specific rules about this and it is clearly up to the individual to know when the time is right, rather than create a timescale you consider is correct and proper.
Hopefully, there will come a time when friends, and hopefully family, will realize you still have a lot to offer in a relationship and encourage you to make changes in your life. Young or not so young, you deserve to be able to share your life with someone who can give you the friendship and romance you’ve been missing.
This Is A Big Step Which Should Be Taken With Forethought
There is no doubt this is a big step and one that should be taken with plenty of forethought. Suddenly finding yourself sharing intimate moments with someone new could prove to be an emotional experience and something you had not expected. It is a hurdle you have to negotiate before moving forward and you may decide you’re not ready yet for someone else in your life.
If your date is a widow, then it’s likely she could be feeling the same!
It’s important for both of you to remember this is not about finding a replacement, but seeking someone new to share your life with.
How To Meet Other Singles?
Having made this seminal decision, you will have to decide which method you’re going to choose to meet someone. If you’re an out-going type who would be comfortable in a crowd, there are pubs or bars where ‘meet-ups’ are specifically planned for those wanting to meet other singles. Look for a venue in your area, or somewhere further afield if you’d rather not bump into local singles living near to you.
Meet-up groups are also planned where singles with specific interests go along. Reflect upon your own interests and hobbies, if you have any, and look for a group where you’re likely to meet kindred spirits and shared values. You may find yourself rediscovering an avenue that you intended to pursue, but had forgotten about.
Online dating is a popular method for meeting new people whether it’s for platonic friendship or a romantic relationship. A dating site specifically for widows and widowers is ideal if you want to meet someone who can relate to your situation and you to hers. Dating a widow can be therapeutic as it will help you to accept that you’re not alone in your widowed state and both of you will be starting out from the same platform.
If you belong to a particular faith, then it’s likely there will be various activities in which you could form friendships with others who are also bereaved and share your beliefs.
Also, a pet of any kind will help to fill a space. If you have a dog, it could be instrumental in potential friendship with other single dog walkers!
Looking And Feeling Your Best
If it’s been a while since you bought any new clothes, then this is probably a good opportunity to go shopping. You don’t have to re-configure your entire wardrobe, but buying a few items, which will augment what you already have is a good start. Ensure your shoes are clean and in good shape and check to make sure your fingernails are not reflecting an afternoon spent digging in the garden or mending your car’s rear axle!
It’s Important To Be In The Right Mindset
Preparing yourself for a first date will likely be an emotionally challenging experience and may well bring about feelings of self-recrimination. But these are inevitable hurdles you must overcome. Look at the person in the mirror and congratulate yourself on coming this far. You should be proud to have arrived at this moment. Grieving for someone you loved dearly is hard and something you may have struggled with for a long time. Taking this step is a bold statement that you’re taking control of your future. Regard the date as an experiment – if you find you’re feeling uncomfortable throughout, it might only be because you’re with the wrong person. Or it could be that you’ve taken this step too soon, but don’t give up on yourself.
If you’re truly ready to share your life with someone new, it’s all about finding the right person at this moment in time, and not about finding a replacement. Once you’re absolutely sure this is what you want, you’re opening the way for some magic to happen!