Dating as a Widower – Taking That all Important First Step
You may be having second thoughts about dating as a widower and wondering whether or not it’s the right move for you at this moment.
Deciding you want to start dating again following bereavement is probably going to be a decision you haven’t taken lightly. Inevitably, you could be having second thoughts and feeling an element of guilt in the eyes of your late wife’s family or your children. However, these thoughts are perfectly normal and should not stop you from moving forward with your life.
Dating as a widower ultimately comes down to you wanting to make the most of the rest of your life.
You Will Know When The Time Is Right
The space between losing your life partner and your decision to date again will vary from person to person. For some widowers it will be months, but for others, a period measured in years. There are no specific rules about about dating again as a widower. It is clearly up to the individual. You will know when the time is right, rather than creating a timescale you consider is correct and proper.
Hopefully, there will come a time when those close to you will realize you still have a lot to offer. Young or not so young, you deserve to be able to share your life with someone who can give you the friendship and romance you’ve been missing.
This Is A Big Step Which Should Be Taken With Forethought
There is no doubt this is a big step and one that should be taken with plenty of forethought. Suddenly finding yourself sharing intimate moments with someone new could prove to be an emotional experience. This could be something you had not expected. It is a hurdle you have to negotiate before moving forward and you may decide you’re not ready yet.
If your date is a widow, then it’s likely she could be feeling the same! It’s important for both of you to remember this is not about finding a replacement. Seeking someone new to share your life with is natural.
How To Meet Other Singles?
Having made this seminal decision, you will have to decide which method you’re going to choose to meet someone. If you’re an out-going type, there are pubs or bars where ‘meet-ups’ are specifically planned for those wanting to meet other singles. Look for a venue in your area, or somewhere further afield if you’d rather not bump into local singles living near to you.
Meet-up groups are also planned where singles with specific interests can meet. Reflect upon your own hobbies and look for a group where you’re likely to meet kindred spirits and shared values. You may find yourself rediscovering an avenue that you intended to pursue, but had forgotten about.
A dating site specifically for widows and widowers is ideal if you want to meet someone who can relate to your situation. Dating a widow can be therapeutic as it will help you to accept that you’re not alone. Dating as a widower will mean both of you will be starting out from the same platform.
If you belong to a particular faith, then it’s likely there will be activities in which you could form friendships with others who are also bereaved and share your beliefs. Also, a pet of any kind will help to fill a space. If you have a dog, it could be instrumental in potential friendship with other single dog walkers!
Looking And Feeling Your Best
If it’s been a while since you bought any new clothes, then this is probably a good opportunity to go shopping. You don’t have to re-configure your entire wardrobe, but buying a few items, which will augment what you already have is a good start. Ensure your shoes are clean and in good shape and check to make sure your fingernails are not reflecting an afternoon spent digging in the garden or mending your car’s rear axle!
As much as these things may sound obvious, they can easily be overlooked if you’ve been on your own for a while.
It’s Important To Be In The Right Mindset
Preparing yourself for a first date will likely be an emotionally challenging experience and may well bring about feelings of self-recrimination. But these are inevitable hurdles you must overcome. Look at the person in the mirror and congratulate yourself on coming this far. You should be proud to have arrived at this moment. Grieving for someone you loved dearly is hard and something you may have struggled with for a long time.
Taking this step is a bold statement that you’re taking control of your future. Regard the date as an experiment. If you find you’re feeling uncomfortable throughout, it might be because you’re with the wrong person. Or it could be that you’ve taken this step too soon.
If you’re truly ready to share your life with someone new, it’s all about finding the right person at this moment in time, and not about finding a replacement. Once you’re absolutely sure this is what you want, you’re opening the way for some magic to happen!
With the right preparation, dating as a widower doesn’t have to be a painful or uncomfortable experience. When the right person comes along, go with the flow and see where it leads you.