How to Date a Recent Widower
The thought of dating a recent widower can be challenging. In fact the idea of a first date with anyone can be challenging. But when someone has been recently bereaved there are certain reassurances you will need before you step into a relationship. Knowing how to date a widower and understanding the best course of action is key.
A widower who is seeking friendship soon after losing a life-partner could be lonely. He may not know how to cope with his own company. Someone without a family, or a circle of friends looking out for him, could make for a compromising situation. Putting too much store on a romantic relationship with someone who is not ready could have a disappointing outcome.
Applying a degree of sensitivity when dating a widower is a worthwhile approach and, hopefully, will help you to establish an appropriate pace on which to move forward.
If you’re planning on dating a widower, and you’re not familiar with his background, it is important you establish whether or not he has come to terms with his loss. Taking things slowly at the start of any new relationship is important. Meeting during the daytime or early evening for the first few dates will give you the opportunity to get to know each other, without making too much of a commitment. This will help you to see how the friendship is progressing. It will also show whether he is over the grief that would have followed his wife’s death.
If he seems genuinely interested in you but seems to be holding back a little, it could be that he is asking himself if he is, indeed, ready for another relationship. By offering a platonic lifeline, this could help a recent widower to come to terms with his loss. It will also highlight the possibility of greater things further down the line for both of you.
Learning to Understand His Heart
One of the most challenging areas of dating a widowed man is ensuring he is not in any way comparing you to his deceased wife; or your relationship to the one he had before. This is, after all, an opportunity for both of you to build a unique friendship based on your shared experiences.
Discovering any mutual interests you may have is a good way to establish a lasting rapport. Whether it is a sport or something of a more cerebral nature, sharing some common ground will offer plenty of scope to get to know each other. Visiting an art gallery or taking a walk in the country, are just two ideas that could invite some interesting conversation and shared values. By creating conditions for the recent widower to feel comfortable, he is more likely to want to open up about his current feelings. Any apprehensions he may have, could also come to the surface during a conversation of this nature.
If he suggests introducing you to friends, this is a sure sign he is comfortable sharing this aspect of his life with you. It is also a good way for you to see how he interacts with them– and how they view him. This will hopefully give you a greater picture of the person you are dating.
If he has been in the habit of mentioning his wife, you will notice if he seems to be doing this to a lesser degree and sense a more relaxed attitude towards you.
Eventually, it is hoped that dating a recent widower will offer a worthwhile friendship that can develop over time. If this is the case, it will be because you have grown to understand each other in a deeper sense. Hopefully, romance will follow and your relationship will have a firm foundation on which to flourish.