Describing yourself in the best way possible
As we find ourselves spending more time than usual at home, we may be considering the possibility of online dating. This could be the perfect opportunity to create a dating profile that puts us in touch with others who are also finding themselves with extra time on their hands and missing the company of colleagues, friends and family.
Your dating profile is your selling point and must deliver in a brief, but dynamic way, your best attributes and most compelling interests. Whether these interests are gardening, walking, cooking or a round of golf, don’t be reluctant to talk about them, as they are an important part of who you are and what makes you unique.
If in recent years, you’ve enjoyed a particular holiday or travel experience, you might like to share this. It’s the ideal opportunity to illustrate how you spend your leisure time. Sailing, walking, or re-charging your batteries on a beach somewhere, can all offer an insight into your character and what makes you happy.
Crucial, of course, is adding a photograph
Without a recent photograph you are not likely to attract much attention. People are always suspicious of profiles without images as they naturally suggest someone who is not fully committed to the process, or is unhappy with the way they look. The real reason is much more likely to be that they are shy. Potential connections, however, will not have time to make this consideration; they will have moved on to the next profile with a photo.
Five steps to consider
Here are five recommended steps to help you create your perfect profile:
- Be honest: Don’t over-sell yourself and always keep a little something back in case you want to make an impression further down the line. Something like….”I play the piano” or “I’m in the process of writing a book”, will very likely add interest on a first date.
- Photos: If possible, get a friend or family member to take a photograph. Selfies are OK, but unlikely to be the most flattering. A selfie could also be misleading if you’ve retouched it and created an unrealistic vision of the perfect man or woman. A headshot, preferably when you’re smiling, would be perfect. Also, an image in an informal environment where you look comfortable.
- Description: If you find writing about yourself difficult, write about what your passions are: i.e. your children, your hobbies, or your work. This will help to convey something of who you are. Keep it positive and try to display confidence within your text. As the saying goes ‘confidence is everything’! If being funny is part of what makes you who you are, then say something amusing. If you’re a serious kind of guy or girl then try to express this in some way. If you really have problems writing about yourself, ask someone who knows you well to share this task with you. Avoid saying too much about your material assets – or lack of them. You don’t want to attract anyone for the wrong reasons.
- Goals: It’s not always a good idea to state in too much depth what you hope the next stage in your life will be. Describe future plans only loosely, suggesting that you’re open-minded about what lies ahead. Keep things in the moment and focus mainly on describing where you’re at in your life right now.
- Say hello: Don’t wait to be found. Visit the profile sections regularly and if there is someone who looks and sounds promising, give them a wink, or send a brief message showing your interest. If initial contact does not prove fruitful, don’t be reluctant to try again.
Profile perfect – you are now on your way!
Once you’re happy with your profile, you will feel more comfortable about contacting other members. You will know that you have sold yourself in a way that is true to you and therefore more likely to attract a compatible person.
Gaining confidence online
From our experience of providing online dating for widows and widowers for over fifteen years, being honest and genuine when creating a dating profile makes a big difference to the outcome of any potential relationship. The more genuine your interactions are, the more confidence you will gain, and the more enthusiastic you will feel about the prospect of dating again.
If and when you find yourself in dialogue with someone you would like to know a little better, this could be a good time to use a video chat platform to have some face to face interaction. Maybe you can even arrange an online dinner date!
If you don’t have the success you were hoping for, don’t despair. Keep looking and if necessary tweak your profile, ensuring it is always up-to-date. Sooner or later, you will make contact with others looking to meet someone just like you and who knows what may follow.