Although it may be second nature to hope that you might find similar qualities in a new partner to those of your late husband or wife, it’s important not to rule out the possibility that the next person in your life may well be completely different. Your first relationship after being widowed will bring with it a whole new set of possibilities.
This doesn’t mean you won’t be sharing interests together, more that you will be exploring new ideas and aspects of your personality which will make this relationship special in its own unique way.
Making a concerted effort to learn about your new partner’s interests and hobbies is one way of building upon the relationship. It might be worthwhile to be aware of your new partner’s choice of activities and consider whether they could appeal to you. Something you have previously disregarded as not being to your taste may, in actual fact, present an opportunity for you to discover new skills. This could also be a good way of gaining confidence and help to build self-esteem.
Another way of making a mutual connection could be that you explore an activity neither of you have tried before. This may well open the door to new hobbies and interests, which you can develop together. Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for you both to begin a new chapter of self-discovery!
If you’ve reached the point in your relationship where you occasionally stay over with each other, the next step could be to plan a weekend away.
Deciding where to stay and making plans about what you will do once you get there is bound to highlight any differences in taste. This provides an opportunity for some give and take. He might prefer a large hotel; you might prefer a log cabin. He might want to take his golf clubs and you might want to take your tennis racket. How you make decisions at this time will be a real pointer as to how you get on.
Also interesting, is how you feel when being seen as a couple in public. Are you aware that he looks at other women a lot – albeit fleetingly, but annoying, none the less? Does she seem to be constantly checking her phone to talk to her friends and family? These could be character traits that will make the relationship difficult in the long term.
In any case, the important thing is to always be who you are and open to the possibilities that lay ahead. While it’s important to be patient and not rush into anything, you can still embrace being in a couple again. In time, the activities you take part in will teach you things not only about your new partner, but about yourself, too. This will give you a greater appreciation for the future and what life may have in store.