Coming To Terms With Being A Widow
Moving forward as a widow
When you lose a partner it’s not something you’re likely to come to terms with quickly. Learning to live as a widow will take courage and practice. There’s no doubt, moving forward after becoming a widow can be challenging! With time, it is hoped, you will be getting on with your life not as a widow but as a single woman.
Surprisingly, if you’re left with children and a demanding job, it’s possible you’ll find your feet rather more quickly. Children, especially, are a huge driving force to move you on.
This is not an excuse to ignore your own needs, physically or mentally, but it does mean that each morning is kick-started with a ‘raison d’etre,’ which cannot be ignored.
The more your thoughts are occupied with the need to carry on for the sake of your young children/job/day to day responsibilities, the better it will be for all of you.
In her book ‘A Widow’s Guide to Healing’ author Kristin A. Meekhof states:
‘…you may not be able to think as clearly as you usually do – and as you will again in the future. For night now, your needs are simple. You need to get up and get dressed everyday and then be guided toward whatever must be done.’
In time you will hopefully have settled into a routine and feel you’re getting on top of things. There will be days more challenging than others, but by being busy, your recovery will surely come.
Being a widow doesn’t mean you have to be alone forever
At some point in time you may even want to start dating again. This is nothing to feel guilty about. When you think the time is right then talk to friends, especially if they are also single. Explore the options you have available and see where they take you.
It could be that one of your friends will know someone who could be an interesting proposition for you. There are, of course, numerous classes, sports clubs and meet-up groups you can investigate. You may even want to explore the possibilities presented by online dating.
If you do feel ready to date again, don’t leave it too long before you look for that special someone. Life is too short to sit about wondering if you’re doing the right thing. Dating should be fun and getting to know someone in the early stages can be very exciting and the outcome can be a revelation.
Accepting the changes to come…
It can be hard to think clearly when coming to terms with being a widow, but a time will arrive when you’re moving on without realising it. Having focus and confidence in the most immediate challenges before you, will build the momentum you need to create a new future.
Compliment yourself on the changes you make each day. Ensuring you’re treasuring all aspects of your life and by keeping the door open for new possibilities, you will begin to feel hopeful once more.