Your First Relationship After Being Widowed

The next person in your life could be completely different

Your first relationship after being widowed will bring with it a whole new set of possibilities. Hoping to meet someone with similar qualities to those of your late partner is to be expected, especially if you were very happy together. However, it is better to have an open mind as it’s far more likely the next person in your life will be completely different. This doesn’t mean you won’t be sharing interests together; more that you will be exploring new ideas and aspects of each other’s personality. It is these facets, which will make this friendship special in its own unique way.

Gaining confidence and self-assurance within the relationship

Making a concerted effort to learn about your new partner’s interests and hobbies is one way of building a friendship. Establishing an awareness of their choice of activities and considering whether they might appeal to you is important. Something you have previously disregarded may, in fact, present an opportunity for you to discover new skills. This could also be a good way of gaining confidence and self-assurance within the relationship.

Another way of making a mutual connection could be that you both explore an activity neither of you have tried before. This may well open the door to other new hobbies and interests, which you can develop together. Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for you both to begin a new chapter of self-discovery!

Taking the next step

If the relationship is going well, you might soon find yourself sharing a sex life. This is a bold step, of course, and one that should not be taken without forethought. The initial stages could prove to be difficult for both of you. Especially, if you are both widowed and this is the first time you have connected in this way with someone new. However, if all goes well, you will have reached a deeper level of friendship.

Making plans together

A weekend away could help to cement your relationship. Deciding where to go and what resources you’re looking for can highlight your differences and how you cope with them.   

Deciding where to stay and making plans about what you will do once you get there is bound to provoke some debate. This provides an opportunity for some give and take. He might prefer a large hotel; you might prefer a log cabin. He might want to take his golf clubs and you might want to take your tennis racket. Making decisions at this time will be a real pointer as to how well you cope with these differences.

Introducing your new partner to old friends

Being seen as a couple in public in the early days, can be awkward. Especially, if you occasionally bump into old friends who knew you when you were with your deceased partner. Making a point of introducing your new partner shows you are comfortable together. True friends will be happy for you and react with warmth and pleasure.

Observing each other’s character traits

In the early days, it’s easy to be ignore character traits that could, in time, become irritating. Are you aware that he looks at other women a lot – albeit fleetingly, but annoying, none the less? Does she seem to be constantly checking her phone to talk to her friends and family? These could be character traits that will make the relationship difficult in the long term. These issues should be discussed as it may be they are subliminal and something, which can be put right. There is never a perfect situation but too much or too little over time can be the death knell of a relationship.  


Whilst it is important to be patient and not rush into anything, eventually, the time you spend together will increase your awareness. Not only about your new partner, but about yourself, too. This will give you a greater vision of your future and what life may have in store. In any case, the important thing is to always be who you are and open to the possibilities that lie ahead. 

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